3 hours of wait

I have training in three hours. That means I have 3 more hours to waste. And 3 more hours to be bored. I really hate that I have to stay here in the library for three hours. I mean, I do enjoy paying a visit here (sometimes), and of course the fact that we have free internet access is a double plus bonus for me. But seriously! I'm starting to look like a geek. I mean, to everybody else, knowing that I've been staying in the library is probably making them think that I'm all that, but I'm not.

I plan on reviewing all my test for tom and friday today, since on thursday, not only do I have a 3-5pm P.E class, but I also feel the need for another training. Dec. 4 (the continuation of the elimination) is coming up, and I don't want to suck.

I know that we did won twice from that 3 rounds, but seriously, we could've done better if only I did better. I don't want to be a burden for the group.

.... God, I'm so freakin' hungry, but I'm in diet. Yesterday, I practically ate a galloon of chocalates, and for this, I have to starve today.

Damn it, I need to be more consistent with this dieting/starving thing.

Round one

Good Lord! The first round of the debate has just finished, walking towards the school earlier this day I felt like I was going to be eaten alive. I'm still as nervous as hell, given that most of the debaters here today are experienced and I on the other hand am a newbie- in all sense of the word. The only consolation I have is that my team mates are really great and they could at least help and guide me not to make a fool out of myself.

We won the first round, but I'm not sure whether we should take credit on that or not. True that we did presented a good case and in my opinion our cases are better than the government side of the debate, but still there are this so many factors why they lost. Firstly, it could be because they didn't want to win on the first round- given that its a power match they'd probably want to loose first and then work their way to the top.

Or the adj could think that if she decided to let the other team win that she might be accused of being biased. Or maybe we just did better that the other team.

Anyway, I'm not keeping my hopes up as to avoid any kind of depression later. I really think that anticipating something bad would help you not to be upset and that if it turns out okay, you may even be surprised (in a good way).

Round two is coming up... GOD HELP US!!

no focus.

It's a monday and I'm still at school though my class actually ended at 11am. I'm still here for the debate training, I really like debating- its something that I think I could do good at especially if I keep on training. Plus the people there are nice, they're really friendly, so it's easier for me to be more comfortable.

I was actually feeling low today. For no apparent reason till I decided to contemplate the reason for my sudden odd feeling of loneliness. I realized that the problem was... ME. I was feeling disappointed towards myself. I've been aiming to do good in college, but then I don't know what's with me but I just seem to always loose my focus. I set up this goals and do almost everything but-- ARGH!

I would borrow some books, or open them, then when its time to read, my mind just won't cooperate. Yea, its like NINGAS KUGON, only this time:1. I'm fully aware of it 2. I don't want it 3. and it takes place in about a snap of a finger.

One minute I'm determined as hell, the next, I still am but I just can't focus. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!!

my dad's bday

Well, I'd say the party went on well, but the place was cramped! And I mean this in the most literal sense. Yung pila for the food parang pila sa SSS. And I'm not even sure why everbody had to fall in line to get food, if they'll be going after just one dish?!? And so this is my sister's and mine's - arguement on not staying in line.

But hey, we've all enjoyed the shindig. The acoustic band is really nice, the gay people are really funny but I just really wish that my cousins didn't left so early. After the stand-up comedy, it was actually supposed to be a disco thing. and heck, before the stand-up comedy even finished people are already dancing and it was fun. But if my cousins are there, it would've been such a blast. Plus, most of the peepz left there to go dancing are ... well, they're not old but their choice of songs just shows how much they love BALLROOM!

On the bright side, even though my cousins (from the mother side of the family)left, I have 3 more cousins (from dad's side) and the good thing about them is that they're game. So the 4 of us headed to the dance floor and had a good time.

Missed attendance

I wasn't able to attend today's debate mtg/training. I just received the text last night and I've been thinking whether I should go or not. I really do want to go, and I don't want the people there to think that I'm being irresponsible and that I'm not committed to this thing- coz I am. I think.

Anyway, my dad will be having this really big bday party today, with a band and everything. We've even teased him of having a debut because of the number of guests, and just the whole preparation of the party is. And this is actually my reason why I wasn't able to attend, if I go there, I'll come home looking all tired then the party is till really late or probably past midnight and I need to have my energy for that. I just really hope that I won't be disappointing anyone. Since, the last time we had a meeting, I was also absent.

I'm in so big trouble. But I'm gonna try to make up for the times I wasn't able to come, so I'll probably resolve to attending for like 4 or 5 times a week. Hmm. hope that'll ready me for the debate series.