affected

I hate myself. I can't believe I'm getting this affected over someone I barely know. Yes, it is true that I've had a crush in him for like forever, but still, I never thought of myself to be one of those girls who gets all bummed up when someone they like is apparently with someone else. My philosophy on such things has always been - "crush LANG yan, no biggie." but then this happens. I think I may have been pinning for him for far too long.

My brain is actually screaming at me right now, for being affected this much, since that person and I have now been a stranger to each other. But then my logic wouldn't take away what I feel. I don't even know what to call it, all I know is that I feel a lump on my throat that I can't seem to remove. Maye I'm just really blinded by him. Maybe I'm affected not really by him but the image of him that I've got so perfectly in my imagination. - Damn, I hate my senti moments.